Hotvollim is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, moody lizard.

Hotvollim created water two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hotvollim, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hotvollim, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Hotvollim's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Hotvollim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near snakes while wearing black jumpers.

2. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Manatees are not to be trusted.