Yarpitquart is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, fussy hyena.

Yarpitquart created matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpitquart, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yarpitquart, he will turn you into a dog.

Yarpitquart's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Yarpitquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about eukaryotes.

2. You must pray to Yarpitquart three times a day.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

5. Worship no other gods but Yarpitquart.