Hakgepzodwitfumminweg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, passionate bear.

Hakgepzodwitfumminweg created matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakgepzodwitfumminweg, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hakgepzodwitfumminweg, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Hakgepzodwitfumminweg's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Hakgepzodwitfumminweg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about gooseberries.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Hakgepzodwitfumminweg.

3. Never eat garlic.

4. Never mention moths.

5. Do not take Hakgepzodwitfumminweg's name in vain.