Fosslatyarbum is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, cheerful octopus.

Fosslatyarbum created a down quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fosslatyarbum, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fosslatyarbum, she will ignore you.

Fosslatyarbum's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Fosslatyarbum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not keep five mites in a large pit.

3. Do not take Fosslatyarbum's name in vain.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Never play with disobedient children.