Paglakvag is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, loving dog.

Paglakvag created carbon nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Paglakvag, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Paglakvag, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Paglakvag's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Paglakvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about thermodynamics.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always help sick sheep.

4. Manatees are not to be trusted.

5. Do not speak about bananas.