Bigtofcin is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, confident jellyfish.

Bigtofcin created matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bigtofcin, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bigtofcin, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Bigtofcin's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Bigtofcin's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Hide from fawn foxes for they are unholy.

3. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

4. Never feed lots of cucumbers to great tits while wearing purple hats.

5. Put Bigtofcin first in all things.