Flanrapzanhun is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, benevolent hedgehog.

Flanrapzanhun created Asia eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flanrapzanhun, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Flanrapzanhun, he will throw large rocks at you.

Flanrapzanhun's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Flanrapzanhun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

3. Do not speak about figs.

4. Never wear kilts.

5. Do not cook food in pots.