Bestvondim is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, irritating mink.

Bestvondim created the Tadpole Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bestvondim, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bestvondim, it will turn you into a slug.

Bestvondim's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Bestvondim's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat onions.

2. Put Bestvondim first in all things.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Never wear pink trousers.

5. Never hurt grasshopers.