Quafbaglaktal is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, selfish bird.

Quafbaglaktal created the Cigar Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Quafbaglaktal, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quafbaglaktal, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Quafbaglaktal's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Quafbaglaktal's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Quafbaglaktal on top of all buildings.

2. Never think about quantum field theory.

3. Never feed onions to tapirs while wearing scarves.

4. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.