Japarmtarpkongigrillfasgam is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, awesome badger.

Japarmtarpkongigrillfasgam created the planet Venus seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japarmtarpkongigrillfasgam, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Japarmtarpkongigrillfasgam, it will turn you into a snail.

Japarmtarpkongigrillfasgam's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Japarmtarpkongigrillfasgam's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Japarmtarpkongigrillfasgam five times a day.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never paint your face blue.

5. Never talk about bacteria.