Flisbanzan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish rhinoceros.

Flisbanzan created the Sun four years ago.

If you believe in Flisbanzan, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Flisbanzan, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Flisbanzan's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Flisbanzan's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Run away from turquoise tortoises, for they are unholy.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.