Kemgamrot is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, omniscient manatee.

Kemgamrot created an up quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemgamrot, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Kemgamrot, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Kemgamrot's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Kemgamrot's Holy Commandments

1. Kemgamrot loves goats, so they must be respected.

2. Never think ill of sick capybaras.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near snails while wearing blue ear rings and balancing three carbon spheres on your arms.

4. Do not run in public.

5. Never look at asteroids.