Fuddossman is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, narcissistic cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Fuddossman created a strange quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Fuddossman, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fuddossman, it will remove you from existence.

Fuddossman's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Fuddossman's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention dogs.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Do not cook food in pots.