Zanjabtim is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, fussy crane.

Zanjabtim created Europe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zanjabtim, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zanjabtim, she will curse you with boils.

Zanjabtim's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Zanjabtim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near swans while wearing yellow tights and balancing eight carbon spheres on your feet.

2. Never talk about asteroids.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never paint your chest cyan.

5. Never hurt seals.