Catzakfag is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, benevolent zebra.

Catzakfag created the planet Jupiter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Catzakfag, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Catzakfag, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Catzakfag's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Catzakfag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sprint in public.

2. Do not keep three otters in a large pit.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never play with disobedient children.