Vadbitmid is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, thoughtless manatee.

Vadbitmid created an up quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadbitmid, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vadbitmid, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Vadbitmid's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Vadbitmid's Holy Commandments

1. Put Vadbitmid first in all things.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not wear pink clothing.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never write about moons.