Bifflisjan is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, almighty swallow.

Bifflisjan created dark matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifflisjan, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bifflisjan, she will curse you with boils.

Bifflisjan's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Bifflisjan's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not eat cherries.

4. Hide if four birds approach from the west.

5. Never eat green fruit.