Labzigzen is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, amazing clam.

Labzigzen created the Cigar Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Labzigzen, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Labzigzen, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Labzigzen's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Labzigzen's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never wear orange ear rings.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Hide from magenta ducks for they are unholy.

5. Never sprint in holy places.