Taffomgup is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, unjust unicorn.

Taffomgup created humankind seven million years ago.

If you believe in Taffomgup, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Taffomgup, he will turn you into a hamster.

Taffomgup's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Taffomgup's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair violet.

2. Never eat grapes.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not make images of living things.