Yattsanddoss is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, deceitful bat.

Yattsanddoss created viruses six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattsanddoss, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yattsanddoss, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Yattsanddoss' most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Yattsanddoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not wear mauve clothing.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

4. Retreat if three birds approach from the south.

5. Do not keep seven nematodes in a large pit.