Motcimwit Canwan is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, weak gnu.

Motcimwit Canwan created an up quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Motcimwit Canwan, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Motcimwit Canwan, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Motcimwit Canwan's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Motcimwit Canwan's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Motcimwit Canwan.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.