Ligcubzan is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, stupid human.

Ligcubzan created a down quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ligcubzan, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ligcubzan, she will laugh at you.

Ligcubzan's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Ligcubzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear blue clothing.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never mention ants.

5. Pray towards the east.