Vandonsin is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, sage swallow.

Vandonsin created snails two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vandonsin, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vandonsin, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Vandonsin's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Vandonsin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

2. Vandonsin loves rats, so they must be respected.

3. Do not speak about lemons.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Erect six silver sculptures of Vandonsin on top of important buildings.