Largfumcapfum is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, unselfish crocodile.

Largfumcapfum created the Black Eye Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Largfumcapfum, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Largfumcapfum, he will not care.

Largfumcapfum's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Largfumcapfum's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Put Largfumcapfum first in all things.

3. Never think about dark energy near frogs while wearing indigo shirts and balancing six silver spheres on your feet.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Largfumcapfum.

5. Do not listen to music.