Basthotqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, effective dove.

Basthotqueeg created time and space two billion years ago.

If you believe in Basthotqueeg, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Basthotqueeg, it will turn you into a tree.

Basthotqueeg's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Basthotqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Put Basthotqueeg first in all things.

2. Never feed beans to bats while wearing hats.

3. Run away if eight mites approach from the east.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never think about moons.