Fumzedyatt is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, stupid jaguar.

Fumzedyatt created an electron four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumzedyatt, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fumzedyatt, it will think nothing of it.

Fumzedyatt's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Fumzedyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in the presence of ants.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Hide if nine porpoises approach from the north.

4. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

5. Never play with disobedient children.