Zenkapmip is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, intelligent ferret.

Zenkapmip created the Sol system two billion years ago.

If you believe in Zenkapmip, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Zenkapmip, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Zenkapmip's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Zenkapmip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

2. Never mention capybaras.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near hamsters while wearing pink rings.

4. Always look after injured goats.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics.