Arnflislapvaggumbaf is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, unselfish dog.

Arnflislapvaggumbaf created dark matter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arnflislapvaggumbaf, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Arnflislapvaggumbaf, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Arnflislapvaggumbaf's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Arnflislapvaggumbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bread.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near moths while wearing pink boots and balancing four zinc spheres on your neck.

5. Hide if nine snakes approach from the west.