Vogkankadtimbotsidjatzog is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, grumpy fly.

Vogkankadtimbotsidjatzog created silver nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogkankadtimbotsidjatzog, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vogkankadtimbotsidjatzog, he will remove you from existence.

Vogkankadtimbotsidjatzog's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Vogkankadtimbotsidjatzog's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick dogs.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always look after injured pigs.

4. Always wear pink.

5. Retreat if five mice approach from the west.