Loopfigpon is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, compassionate gnu.

Loopfigpon created dark matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Loopfigpon, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Loopfigpon, it will throw large rocks at you.

Loopfigpon's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Loopfigpon's Holy Commandments

1. Put Loopfigpon first in all things.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not wear iron on your body.

4. Never sprint near turtles.

5. Always look after injured ducks.