Cibpopnad is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, slow ant.

Cibpopnad created the Small Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cibpopnad, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cibpopnad, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Cibpopnad's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Cibpopnad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

2. Goats are not to be trusted.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never think ill of sick sheep.

5. Never feed strawberries to gulls while wearing gray jumpers.