Lanlarpbiss is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, resourceful cat.

Lanlarpbiss created the planet Mars twelve years ago.

If you believe in Lanlarpbiss, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Lanlarpbiss, it will turn you into a worm.

Lanlarpbiss' most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Lanlarpbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick shrews.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not kill mites.

4. You must never eat nuts.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.