Bentailnul is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, overgenerous eagle.

Bentailnul created Asia six million years ago.

If you believe in Bentailnul, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bentailnul, he will turn you into a rat.

Bentailnul's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Bentailnul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about melons.

2. You must love Bentailnul.

3. Always look after injured capybaras.

4. Never think about spacetime near sharks while wearing black dresses and balancing nine silicon spheres on your back.

5. Do not commit murder.