Kanjatart is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, witty fly.

Kanjatart created the universe six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanjatart, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kanjatart, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Kanjatart's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Kanjatart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not eat limes.

5. Never think about gravity near badgers while wearing indigo boots and balancing nine copper spheres on your feet.