Yogarmlit is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, stupid tapir.

Yogarmlit created a photon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogarmlit, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Yogarmlit, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Yogarmlit's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Yogarmlit's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about archaea.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory near porpoises while wearing brown coats.

3. Do not keep eight rats in a large pit.

4. Never wear gray trousers.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.