Pakkemciss is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, fast sheep.

Pakkemciss created a charm quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Pakkemciss, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pakkemciss, it will boil you in a big pot.

Pakkemciss' most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Pakkemciss' Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never wear purple scarves.