Wiktafmidnib is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, almighty shark.

Wiktafmidnib created Africa seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wiktafmidnib, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Wiktafmidnib, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Wiktafmidnib's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Wiktafmidnib's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six horses approach from the west.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always obey Wiktafmidnib's priests.

5. Never hurt frogs.