Nabhasmum is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, ill-tempered goat.

Nabhasmum created everything that exists two years ago.

If you believe in Nabhasmum, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nabhasmum, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Nabhasmum's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Nabhasmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear black jumpers.

2. Never talk about nematodes.

3. Do not leap in public.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always take life seriously.