Genhammet is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, irritating centipede.

Genhammet created a top quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Genhammet, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Genhammet, he will turn you into a mole.

Genhammet's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Genhammet's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Genhammet.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Genhammet in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not listen to music.