Tarmob is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, almighty jackal.

Tarmob created the planet Earth five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarmob, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tarmob, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tarmob's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Tarmob's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Tarmob must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always treat horses with great respect.

5. Hide if six gulls approach from the north.