Sidwonzak is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, astonishing lobster.

Sidwonzak created bats six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidwonzak, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sidwonzak, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Sidwonzak's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Sidwonzak's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always help sick ants.

3. Retreat if five birds approach from the west.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.