Hatlopflig Rangupquill is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, egotistical beaver.

Hatlopflig Rangupquill created life eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatlopflig Rangupquill, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hatlopflig Rangupquill, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Hatlopflig Rangupquill's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Hatlopflig Rangupquill's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not speak about limes.