Ladgepdotsabyarlkenxemdoss is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, smart cow.

Ladgepdotsabyarlkenxemdoss created gold five million years ago.

If you believe in Ladgepdotsabyarlkenxemdoss, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ladgepdotsabyarlkenxemdoss, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Ladgepdotsabyarlkenxemdoss' most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Ladgepdotsabyarlkenxemdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never feed lots of beans to doves while wearing black hats.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not hurt foxes.