Teen is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, selfish grasshopper.

Teen created the Virgo Supercluster eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Teen, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Teen, he will try to impress you with trees.

Teen's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Teen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Teen on top of all buildings.