Rillparkvid is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, sage swan.

Rillparkvid created dark matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Rillparkvid, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Rillparkvid, she will laugh at you.

Rillparkvid's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Rillparkvid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near manatees while wearing gray scarves and balancing nine lead spheres on your face.

2. You must never eat tomatoes.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.