Lintiggof is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, staggering troll.

Lintiggof created the Virgo Supercluster four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lintiggof, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lintiggof, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Lintiggof's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Lintiggof's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Lintiggof.

2. Never feed limes to dogs while wearing boots.

3. Never hop near swans.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.