Parkkikkik is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, tranquil spider.

Parkkikkik created a photon four years ago.

If you believe in Parkkikkik, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Parkkikkik, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Parkkikkik's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Parkkikkik's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Parkkikkik three times a day.

2. Parkkikkik loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics.