Dotcemdit is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, wise fish.

Dotcemdit created gold seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dotcemdit, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dotcemdit, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Dotcemdit's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Dotcemdit's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near snails.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dotcemdit.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.