Dubbestfas is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, weak jaguar.

Dubbestfas created matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Dubbestfas, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dubbestfas, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Dubbestfas' most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Dubbestfas' Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dubbestfas.

2. Do not keep six snails in a large pit.

3. Never think about spacetime.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not wear gold on your body.