Hakbogzagcunwap is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, merciful dragon.

Hakbogzagcunwap created vertebrates three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hakbogzagcunwap, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hakbogzagcunwap, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Hakbogzagcunwap's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Hakbogzagcunwap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill otters.

2. Erect a large copper sculpture of Hakbogzagcunwap on top of all buildings.

3. Never write about archaea.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.